70. A clever psychological strategy: make the other party think they are wrong, that they have lost more than they gained, and that they keep small promises.
Make the other party think that they are wrong.
Seiji Ozawa, a world-renowned conductor, almost fell victim to a trap during a music conducting competition in Europe. In the final round, the judging committee presented him with a vocal score, publicly declaring it their work and absolutely correct. During his performance, Ozawa noticed something unnatural in the music. Initially assuming it was a mistake by the performer, he played it again, but still felt something was amiss. After much deliberation, with the discerning judgment of a top musician, he shouted, "No, the score must be wrong!" His words were immediately met with applause and congratulations from the judges. It turned out this was a carefully crafted trap by the judges, designed to trick the conductor into spotting the error. In fact, other participating conductors also noticed problems in their performances, but swayed by the circumstances, they abandoned their own correct judgment and echoed the judges' deliberately erroneous opinions.
To cause the other party to suffer a greater loss for a small gain
Items left behind in taxis are often the largest pieces of luggage or valuables that should not be overlooked. This is because passengers are worried about time or are in a hurry to find their destination. Upon arrival, the feeling of relief causes the focus to relax, leading to the forgetting of important belongings. This small incident illustrates an important psychological principle: people often forget important tasks when they are satisfied with immediate gratification.
An interesting story once circulated: In a village, plagued by years of famine, the farmers were in dire straits and petitioned the government for relief. If the government were to take harsh measures against them, it could easily provoke a riot. Therefore, a wise official said, "Let's discuss what we have to say later. You all seem very hungry!" He then treated the farmers to a sumptuous meal. A delicious meal couldn't quell the farmers' resentment, but this treatment at least eased their anger, allowing them to calmly accept the official's explanation of the government's hardships. After understanding the nation's difficulties, the farmers had no choice but to return home empty-handed.
Therefore, when you want to completely refuse someone's basic request, it's better to use psychological trickery. Exploit people's weakness for immediate gains by satisfying their trivial immediate needs, thus making them forget their original basic request. This is a clever trick that should be guarded against.
Keeping small promises can easily gain the trust of others.
A middle-aged woman borrowed a large sum of money from many housewives and small shop owners to start a company. One day, she was suddenly arrested; the police said she had committed fraud. This woman had neither considerable wealth nor high social status, so how did she raise such a huge amount of money?
This woman used a deceptive tactic of keeping small promises when raising funds. She initially borrowed small amounts like 50 or 100. Those who didn't repay wouldn't bother with such small sums. She, however, repaid the loans regularly at a 10% interest rate every 10 days. After several such instances, people lowered their guard and stopped being wary. Taking advantage of this, she increased her borrowing amounts, from 100 to 1000, still appearing before people as if she were paying interest. Of course, she was simply using money borrowed from Zhang San to repay Li Si, and money borrowed from Li Si to repay Wang Wu, and so on.
This woman's success in defrauding people lay in her clever exploitation of people's weakness for small gains. She initially repaid the principal and interest on time to gain their trust, gradually increasing the loan amounts. It's said that if she borrowed money for a phone call, regardless of the amount-even a penny or two-she would try to repay it as soon as possible, always returning the cash in an envelope in person. This behavior earned her the trust of many, making it a type of scam that should be guarded against.
Intentionally making public things that are detrimental to oneself
A husband returns home drunk late at night. When his wife helps him take off his suit, she finds a lipstick stain on his shirt and immediately flies into a rage: "Isn't this a lipstick stain? Where were you drinking tonight?" If the husband stammers and answers, "Well... no, no, this is..." such panicked or defensive words are tantamount to an open admission of having an affair. Conversely, if he answers directly and casually, "I went out for a social event tonight. Maybe it's because I'm handsome, but the ladies were especially attentive to me," the wife is less likely to believe him and will think, "Did he really do that? No, he must be joking!" This deceptive tactic has a psychological basis. Most people have a motivation to conceal their mistakes. If you openly admit your wrongdoing, the other person might assume you're lying and try to guess the opposite. Therefore, if the husband directly says, "I went out for a social event," the wife will be more suspicious, thinking, "Someone like him would never go out and have affairs, no, absolutely not."
Most people would be skeptical when they hear someone publicly state a fact that is detrimental to them. For example, someone might point to a luxurious house and say, "This house was built entirely with loans, and to pay off the debts, I'm living on nothing but pickled cabbage soup every day." The listener wouldn't think that way; they would speculate further: this person must have inherited a large fortune-how could they possibly build such a nice house entirely on loans? They must be feigning modesty. Thus, others would assume he's very wealthy and wouldn't believe his "living on nothing but pickled cabbage soup" story at all. In reality, if such statements came from a skilled con artist, they could very well be true.
Consider the following example. A conman targeted a wealthy man, intending to swindle him out of a large sum of money. One day, this cunning swindler drove a luxury Mercedes to visit the wealthy man, saying, "I'm heavily in debt and short of cash; I can't even afford the gas for my car, so I'd like to borrow some money from you to tide me over..." The wealthy man thought to himself, "If this man were truly heavily in debt and short of cash, why would he be so open about it? And he's driving such a luxurious car; how could he possibly be in debt?" He then lent him a considerable sum. Only after the conman vanished without a trace did the man realize he had been scammed, and it was too late for regrets.
This shows that pretending to be rich when you're not is likely to expose you. However, deliberately revealing your difficulties makes it harder for others to see through your deception. It's strange, really; when a liar tells lies, some people believe them and are fooled, and when a liar tells the truth, some people believe them and are fooled. They can deceive with both lies and truth; the methods of swindlers are truly masterful.
Frequent visitors to high-end venues
People often mistakenly believe that those who frequent upscale venues and associate with elite individuals are themselves members of high society. Some con artists exploit this misconception, impersonating high society figures in upscale settings.
Top-notch restaurants and hotels are the perfect places for con artists to commit their crimes, and this has been true throughout history. Before committing a crime, they will thoroughly research the restaurant's layout, facilities, menu, and so on. When entertaining their chosen targets, they will act as if they are regular customers. Even those who are highly vigilant will often fall for their act if their performance is skillful. They might introduce the restaurant by saying, "This restaurant is famous for its [specific dish name], and its [specific soup name] is also a truly delicious and excellent dish." When you need to use the restroom, they will tell you exactly where it is. In this way, under their enthusiastic hospitality, your guard gradually lowers, and you are drawn step by step into their carefully laid trap.
Similarly, when you invite your girlfriend to a restaurant, if you act as if you know each waiter well and say to them in a friendly tone, "You're still the same, business is good, isn't it?" your girlfriend will assume you are a regular customer of that restaurant.
Clearly, this deceptive technique has a strong psychological basis. When you're negotiating business with someone who doesn't have much faith in you, using this psychological technique often yields excellent results. If you use the same method when you're hosting a dinner for the first time with a girlfriend you've long admired, she'll easily lower her guard and start to see you as a reliable and trustworthy partner, indulging in fantasies about your future together.
Therefore, as long as you conduct a thorough investigation of the upscale venues you intend to visit beforehand and understand their conditions, you can walk in as if you were walking into your own home, making others mistakenly believe that you are a regular customer of the restaurant.