Principles of sexual position selection and foreplay techniques in sex therapy
Principles for choosing sexual positions: ① To increase sexual pleasure and stimulate orgasm for both partners; ② To prevent physiological dangers and injuries; ③ To prevent or treat sexual dysfunction in one partner; ④ To facilitate or prevent conception. A reasonable choice can be made based on individual circumstances and practical considerations. Among various positions, one can choose a suitable one based on individual physiological characteristics, eugenic requirements, health status, body type, sexual sensitivities, and life stage to achieve harmonious and fulfilling sexual life, promoting sexual happiness and contributing to health and longevity.
Different ethnic cultures and traditional beliefs often lead to different sexual positions. For example, Europeans used to frequently use the missionary position, but in some parts of Africa, this is considered extremely vulgar, while the woman-on-top position is their preferred choice. Greeks also prefer the woman-on-top position. Egyptians prefer the rear-entry position. According to a US survey, only 36% of recently married couples use the missionary position, while the remaining 64% use various other positions besides missionary. Throughout history and across cultures, sexual positions have been incredibly diverse. Due to differences in ethnicity, country, social background, cultural background, sexual attitudes, and sexual beliefs, the preference for certain positions varies. The determination of a particular position is also influenced by a nation's lifestyle, moral and aesthetic views, and the preference for a particular position is naturally related to the physical and physiological characteristics of that nation.
Under the premise of unified love and affection, paying attention to sexual positions is not a vulgar expression of love, but a respect for love, an art of the union of body and soul, and a natural requirement and expression of sexual love. Sexual positions should not be treated as mere "instruments" in sexual life. Between husband and wife, affection is paramount; detached from affection and merely pursuing variations in positions will result in a dull and lackluster sex life. A positive psychological and emotional state during sexual activity is essential for achieving harmony between body and soul. It is particularly important to emphasize the need to establish healthy sexual concepts in order to make scientific choices and learn how to use sexual positions. Sexual positions are not static; couples can continuously explore and innovate in practice. The best positions are those that are beneficial to health and allow both partners to achieve sexual harmony. The same position may have different effects on different couples. Couples should seek mutually agreeable positions that bring pleasure, mutual comfort, and tacit understanding to achieve the ideal state of a fulfilling sex life.
Sexual Technique Therapy
Sexual techniques refer to the art of sex employed during sexual intercourse. They can help couples achieve sexual harmony and allow them to enjoy the warmth, romance, and sweetness of sex. In the past, some people dismissed sexual techniques as obscene, which is incorrect. For married couples to achieve sexual pleasure, sexual techniques are indispensable tools and basic knowledge that both partners should possess. The following is a summary of relevant content from the *Encyclopedia of Chinese Sexology*, edited by Wu Jieping.
According to historical records, research on sexual techniques began relatively early in ancient China. In many ancient books, Su Nu, as the ancient Chinese goddess of love, often discussed sexual secrets and techniques with the Yellow Emperor. Among the Han Dynasty artifacts unearthed at Mawangdui in 1972 were a large number of rare and precious ancient sexological documents, many of which recorded sexual techniques. Between 31 BC and 17 AD, the Greek poet Ovid's *The Art of Love* described and praised various sexual techniques in detail. In 17 AD, the ancient Roman poet Leucisius also described and praised sexual techniques in his work. Around the 4th century AD, the Indian *Kama's Sayings* appeared, imparting a wealth of sexual knowledge and serving as an early work on sexology. The *Sui Shu* (Book of Sui) records eight specialized works on sexual techniques in 656 AD, but none of them are identical to the eight schools of sexual techniques mentioned in the *Han Shu* (Book of Han), indicating that sexual techniques underwent considerable changes between the Eastern Han and early Tang dynasties. Around the 15th and 16th centuries, Romano's "Compendium of Sexual Intercourse," illustrated and Alertino's poem, was published, causing a sensation and being reproduced and distributed many times. Zhang Jingyue, a famous physician of the Ming Dynasty in China, made profound discussions on sexology in his "Rules for Women," proposing "ten mechanisms" for male-female harmony, which still have academic value today.
Understanding sexual techniques has the following benefits: ① It promotes harmonious sexual life between couples; ② It promotes eugenics; ③ It facilitates the implementation of family planning; ④ It helps infertile couples improve their fertility; ⑤ It helps those with sexual dysfunction recover their sexual function; ⑥ It is beneficial for sexual health.
Sexual techniques mainly include three parts: foreplay techniques, intercourse techniques, and afterplay techniques.
Foreplay Techniques: Modern medicine suggests that foreplay requires skill, focusing on enhancing the five senses: touch, hearing, sight, taste, and smell. Touch can stimulate the partner's erogenous zones, such as the lips, breasts, buttocks, inner thighs, and external genitalia. Initially, avoid focusing on the genitals; instead, follow a principle of moving from far to near and from outside to inside. Caresses should be gentle, ideally using fingertips for firm yet tender touches, rhythmically stroking, or moving up and down or making small circles on the skin. Each movement should be slow and gradual, avoiding sudden changes. Touching methods are not limited to fingers; the mouth or tongue can also be used, as well as eyelashes, cheeks, nose, or even long hair, gently brushing against the skin to create a feeling of warmth and surprise. Some believe that fabrics (such as scarves, feathers, or cotton balls) can also be used to caress the partner. When bathing together, rubbing each other with a sponge can also enhance sensuality through these tactile experiences. Kissing is a form of silent communication and a vital sensual experience. It holds a crucial position in sexual stimulation and the expression of love. The specific approach is flexible; you can kiss your partner's cheek, lips, nose, neck, or ears. A kiss should begin briefly and gradually evolve into a long, passionate, deep kiss. You can kiss with your eyes open or closed; the former enhances the sensuality, while the latter allows you to immerse yourself in tender affection. You can kiss with your mouth closed or open; the former adds a sense of mystery, while the latter is more sensual. Tongue-to-tongue contact further increases sensuality, but this method is only suitable for healthy partners to avoid the risk of transmitting diseases. Using breath freshener before kissing enhances the effect. Bad breath is a major enemy of kissing; it's best to avoid foods that produce bad breath, such as garlic and onions, on the day of sex. Hugging stimulates the sense of touch; hugs can be full-body or partial, including the arms, neck, torso, and thighs. The art of lovemaking for couples often overlooks language. During lovemaking, it's essential to listen to sounds that enhance intimacy. During foreplay, the words spoken should be sweet nothings. Sweet nothings have an aphrodisiac effect, stimulating and maintaining sexual excitement. Music is the best auditory stimulus; listening to different beautiful music each time you make love can enhance sexual awareness. Noise interference is the worst thing during lovemaking. If there is noise outside, close the doors and windows. The role of smell in lovemaking cannot be underestimated. Placing fresh scented flowers in the bedroom can increase sexual pleasure; residual sweat and body odor on the bed can affect the enjoyment of lovemaking, so changing the sheets is a good solution; spraying some air freshener in the room can create a beautiful mood; taking a scented bath (soak or shower) together can also be beneficial, as fragrance has an aphrodisiac effect and can lead to a more intimate and intimate experience. It's also important to establish good visual stimulation. Couples should pay attention to their clothing; wearing soft-colored, thin, transparent, and subtly sexy lingerie can enhance one's sexual appeal. The lighting in the room should be soft and dim, and the room temperature should be moderate. You can be naked or wear thin underwear during sex. Being naked allows you to showcase your curves in front of your partner, increasing sex appeal and mutual attraction.