It doesn't need to take too long or require a specific plan.

**The time doesn't need to be too long.**

Chinese men generally suffer from two major insecurities: they constantly feel their penis isn't long or large enough, and they always feel the duration isn't long enough. At a recent academic conference in Europe, experts stated that the average sexual intercourse time for men in Europe and America is only about 2-8 minutes. However, in their practice, doctors often encounter patients who are still distressed by their intercourse lasting less than 20-30 minutes.

The reason for this difference is a misconception about male ejaculation time.

Some say that Chinese men's sex education mainly comes from secretly watching pornography. This content often conveys the wrong message about the importance of length, size, and duration, greatly misleading many men into emphasizing the need for longer duration. Those who last longer use it as a source of pride; those who finish in a few minutes feel "inferior" and consider it premature ejaculation or a pathological condition, so they blindly search for methods or drugs to prolong the duration, creating the misleading trend of increasingly longer sexual intercourse.

According to the latest European definition of "premature ejaculation," a diagnosis requires three elements: an ejaculatory latency period (the time from penile penetration to ejaculation) of less than one minute, a lack of voluntary control over ejaculation, and psychological distress experienced by the individual or their partner. Research data from Europe and America indicates that the normal ejaculatory latency period is 2–10 minutes, obtained through precise timing with a stopwatch.

According to our survey on the ejaculation latency of Chinese people, the normal latency period is 3 to 10 minutes. However, these figures lack precise stopwatch calculations and are mostly estimates made by the respondents themselves. Yet, many patients come to our clinic insisting that their latency period exceeds 20 to 30 minutes.

Premature ejaculation is only diagnosed when all three factors mentioned above are present. Otherwise, there's no need to worry; adjustments during sexual activity between the couple can achieve mutual satisfaction. Male and female response cycles differ; generally, female orgasms occur later than male orgasms. However, male erogenous zones are primarily concentrated in the genitals, while female erogenous zones are more extensive; stimulation of the back of the neck, breasts, and external genitalia can all induce female sexual arousal. Therefore, sufficient foreplay can completely compensate for these differences.

A healthy and fulfilling sex life should begin with positive confidence, ample foreplay, and the sexual arousal generated by intimacy. A firm and sustained erection is fundamental to successful sexual intercourse, and both partners need to reach orgasm to achieve a satisfying experience. This ensures that both partners maintain their sexual desire, allowing their sex life to enter a positive cycle.

Those who insist on reaching 20-30 minutes are falling into the misconception of blindly pursuing a prolonged ejaculation latency period. In fact, prolonged ejaculation is also a pathological condition known as delayed ejaculation, which requires treatment.

Author: Zhang Zhichao, Deputy Chief Physician, Department of Andrology, Peking University Hospital

**No need to make a special plan**

We often hold the misconception that perfect sex requires constant effort. However, the more we try to perfect it, the worse it gets. Deliberately trying to make sex perfect, implementing meticulous "plans," prevents true physical and emotional engagement, often resulting in wasted effort and missing the essence of sex: the natural impulse and pleasure. The beauty of sex lies in its spontaneous expression, like cursive calligraphy.

Many couples like to schedule their sex life, such as Saturday nights or Wednesdays. Initially, this creates something to look forward to, but it gradually becomes as mundane and uninteresting as meals. Conversely, spontaneous, unplanned sex can bring a more intense and exhilarating experience. Therefore, don't schedule sex like homework. Break free from time constraints; why only have sex at night? Sometimes, "overtime" sex in broad daylight can be even more creative.

In sex, men often take the initiative and are therefore always thinking about how to use tricks. Actually, the best approach to sex is "no tricks at all," the most important thing is that both partners feel comfortable. Others' experiences or tips from books are just theoretical techniques; our goal is only one: comfort. As for any amazing tricks, try them out with an experimental attitude, don't treat them as sacred goals to be learned and mastered. Only then can you experience the unbridled joy of "playing it easy." Sex requires a personalized revolution, or rather, "exploration," and that process is the most intriguing and unforgettable.

In this process of "exploration," don't make pleasing your partner your primary task. If you're constantly thinking about how to move your body, how to touch your partner, how to observe their feelings, and how to say affectionate words, then you yourself will inevitably find no pleasure. Only when your mind and body are free of distractions, and you are fully immersed in the experience, can you experience the most beautiful and pure sex.

Why do women fake orgasms? Because men always fake "foreplay." Rather than this insincere "sacrifice," why not indulge in a somewhat selfish but absolutely genuine and simple enjoyment?

Many men like to show off by holding back ejaculation when they are about to reach orgasm, or even by squeezing their penis with their hands to prevent ejaculation before orgasm. They think this will give them an advantage and avoid their disadvantages. In fact, holding back ejaculation is harmful and not beneficial: First, it makes the experience less enjoyable; second, it affects the intensity of arousal and the atmosphere of pleasure; and third, holding back ejaculation can easily lead to sexual dysfunction.

Men shouldn't try to suppress their primal, wild, and rhythmic nature during sex. Love should be guided by etiquette, but sex can be unrestrained and even unrestrained. The charm of sex lies in its "naturalness."

Author: Rossi